Dear Mama,
If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve had one of those days where you look in the mirror and feel like a stranger is staring back. Maybe it was the new stretch marks, a change in your weight, or simply the exhaustion of motherhood weighing on your heart. I see you, and I want you to know that these feelings are valid.
Becoming a mom transforms your world, your priorities, and yes, your body. It’s easy to get lost in the changes, comparing yourself to how you used to look, or feeling frustrated with the physical toll that raising a family takes on you. But this is exactly where body positivity can be a balm for your soul—because you deserve to love yourself just as deeply as you love those precious ones you care for every day.
Body Changes After Motherhood: You Are Not Alone
Motherhood is a beautiful, messy, and raw experience. Whether you’re a new mom or have been on this journey for a while, the truth is your body has done amazing things. It’s grown a life, nourished it, and continues to move mountains in ways we often overlook. But I know that when the jeans don’t fit the same or your reflection doesn’t match the image you have in your head, those “amazing” things can feel distant.
Let’s acknowledge that it’s okay to grieve those changes. It’s okay to miss the version of you that existed before pregnancy, before sleepless nights, before juggling kids and work. That grief doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful or that you don’t love your family—it just means you’re human. But let’s also take a moment to appreciate the person you are now, a mom who’s doing the best she can with what she has. And that? That’s worth celebrating.
The Struggle with Comparison
One of the biggest hurdles to loving our post-baby bodies is comparison. Whether it’s the mom on Instagram who “snapped back” right after giving birth or that friend who seems to have it all together, it’s so easy to feel like you’re falling short. But mama, comparison is the thief of joy. Social media often shows us filtered, curated glimpses of other people’s lives, not the real, messy, and challenging moments they also go through.
Your body is uniquely yours. It doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s standard or timeline for recovery. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that your worth isn’t tied to a number on a scale or the size of your clothes. The marks on your skin, the extra softness, the curves—they tell your story, and that’s something nobody else can claim.
Building a Loving Relationship with Your Body
So how do you start to feel good in your own skin again? How do you rebuild that relationship with your body when it feels like it’s failed you or left you in unfamiliar territory? The answer lies in small, gentle steps.
Start with kindness. Speak to yourself like you would to your child—lovingly, patiently, and with understanding. When you catch yourself criticizing your body, replace those thoughts with affirmations like, “I am strong. My body gave life. I am deserving of love.” It might feel strange at first, but the more you practice self-compassion, the more it becomes second nature.
Another step is to focus on what your body can do, not just how it looks. Celebrate the strength it took to carry and birth a child, the resilience it shows every day as you juggle a million tasks, and the love it pours out to your family. Your body is a vessel for all the wonderful things you do, not just a reflection of how society thinks you should look.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish
I know the word “self-care” gets thrown around a lot, but it’s more than bubble baths and spa days (though those are great too!). Self-care means taking time to listen to your body’s needs and treating it with respect. Maybe that means going for a walk to clear your head, eating nourishing foods that make you feel good, or simply getting enough rest—because you deserve to be cared for just as much as your family does.
And remember, self-care isn’t just physical. It’s also about protecting your mental and emotional well-being. If you’re struggling with body image, it’s okay to reach out to a therapist or a trusted friend. Talking about these feelings can be healing, and you don’t have to carry them alone.
Teaching Body Positivity to Your Children
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is a positive example of how to love themselves. Whether you have sons or daughters, they learn how to treat their bodies by watching how you treat yours. When they hear you speak kindly about your body, they internalize those messages. When they see you taking care of yourself, they learn that self-love is important.
Body positivity isn’t about pretending everything is perfect; it’s about embracing the imperfections and teaching our kids that their worth comes from who they are, not how they look. And that starts with us, mamas. By showing our kids that we value ourselves, we empower them to value themselves too.
You Are Enough
In a world that constantly tells us we need to be thinner, younger, more “put together,” it’s radical to believe that you are enough—just as you are. But you are. You are enough, mama. Your body is enough. Your stretch marks, your softness, your strength, your tired eyes—all of it is part of the incredible, beautiful package that makes you, you.
So the next time you find yourself feeling down about your body, take a step back and remind yourself of the amazing things it has done and continues to do. Be patient with yourself, just as you are with your kids, and know that you are not alone in this journey. Every mom out there struggles in her own way, but we can all choose to be kinder to ourselves and to each other.
Final Thoughts: A Journey, Not a Destination
Body positivity is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when you feel confident and beautiful, and there will be days when you feel far from it. But that’s okay. What matters is that you keep showing up for yourself, with grace and love, even on the hard days.
You are more than your body, but your body is worthy of love too. Embrace it. Celebrate it. And know that wherever you are on your journey, you are doing a great job, mama.