I got a mother and son journal for my son when he was 9 years old. I wanted to have a place we could communicate that took out some of the pressure of face to face conversations. We got started with it, and I am glad for the opportunity it gave us to keep in tune with one another and keep open communication as we moved towards the tween years.
You can read about initial reactions and then a follow up a few years later below. I’ve also rounded up some more ideas and tips for how to use a mom and me journal to connect with your kid. This post contains affiliate links to the journals.
Between Mom and Me – Mother and Son Journal. “For the mother and son who crave a rule-free, creative way to connect with each other.”
These are my favorite mother child journals that I’ve seen (Katie Clemons makes a Mom and Me journal that is for mothers and daughters too.) I like how it has a guide page where you decide together how you’ll use the journal, and the questions are on point – some are fun or silly, some ask things you’d love to know about each other, but that might feel less awkward to write rather than discuss.
Examples of questions on a two page spread (one page for mom, one page for son):
For Mom – Dear mom, what are some of your favorite parts of being a parent?For Son -What do you think about what I wrote about being a parent? Do you think you want to be a parent some day?
Initial reactions – my son was cautiously excited about writing in this journal with me.
To get started we sat down together to fill out the first page (our full names, what we call each other, how we sign our names and our ages and the date we started the journal). Then I drew a silly stick figure drawing of us and he added a few more details to our picture. We turned to the guide page which asks whether our answers are secret, how we’ll exchange the journal, how long we have to write our answers and so on. We made it through a couple of the questions before he asked if we could finish another time.
This is what is key with making the Between Mom and Me journal work for us. 1. Not pushing too much, and 2. I’m the instigating force behind the journal to keep it up. I’m the one looking for that opportunity to write answers to journal questions and pass it back and forth.
A follow up a four years later – We found this journal on the shelf when moving some things in my son’s room. It didn’t have too much written in it, however the entries we did have are fun to read, and nostalgic to look back on. He remembered working on it and had treasured our alone time when we were writing in the journal. We filled out a couple more questions and tucked it back on his shelf. It’s useful for me to remember that things like this don’t have to be done perfectly in order to make memories.
Another thing that I’d tell my younger self is that it’s ok if my child wants to dictate to me and let me write down the answers. I imagined this being a journal we’d write in separately, but it turned out we mainly sat together with it. I look back and think – oh, right. At 9 it wasn’t super quick for him to write things. There’s no need to make it more challenging.
I would recommend these guided journals for moms and kids who are willing to write or draw their responses and who want to gain a deeper understanding of each other. Kids ages 8-15, give or take.
More Mommy and Me or Daddy and Me Journal Ideas:
Find more ways to connect in the following journals.
Make Your Own Mom and Me Connection Journal
Photo Credit: Alissa Zorn
Draw in a sketchbook – My kids and I have also played around with passing back and forth a sketchbook, each adding drawings, or adding to the previous person’s drawing.
Connect around a common interest – It could be listing movies you watch, jotting down memories from travels or ranking games, books or restaurants. For my youngest we have a little book we keep where we rank Boba shops that we visit.
I hope these journals give you ideas for a creative way to connect with your kids. And remember you don’t have to get them perfect. They’re just jumping off points. You don’t have to answer all of the questions, or answer them in order. You can cross out questions and change them if you like. The main thing is adding more ways to keep communication flowing between you and your child.
Alissa Zorn is an author, and founder of the website Overthought This. She’s a coach and cartoonist passionate about helping people overcome perfectionism and shame to build authentic, joyful lives. Alissa is certified through the International Coach Federation and got her Trauma-Informed Coaching certification from Moving the Human Spirit. She wrote Bounceback Parenting: A Field Guide for Creating Connection, Not Perfection, and is always following curiosity to find her next creative endeavor.