I tend to worry. Wait. I worry.
Sometimes I pen my worry as anxiety. Well, I’ve actually realized that if my worry goes unchecked it can morph into anxiety. It’s sneaky in that way – it feels like I’m just going through the possibilities of what could happen in my mind – but then, lo and behold, I’m anxious. So I have to work exceptionally hard to nip that worry in the bud.
Now, get this, I’ve gotten offended when people tell me I worry. I don’t like it. I originally didn’t like it because I didn’t want to be thought of as a worrier. I’d come up with reasons for my thoughts – like, “I’m just thinking about everything that could happen so I don’t make a mistake…” which, as I’ve already shared, leads to a bit of anxiety. Finally, I just decided to look at what was told to me and instead of fighting it – realize there might be a bit of truth to it.
My worry is the type that could keep me metaphorically on shore. I can see all the potential issues, downfalls, scenarios and if I dwelt on those, I wouldn’t move. So I’ve learned to jump in the boat and embrace the uncomfortableness – even in the worry.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. But so often I find myself, or found myself, expending a great deal of energy on possibilities and future outcomes that I have NO CONTROL over. As a result, I’d just waste time in the now. I wouldn’t move, I wouldn’t change, I’d just stay stuck.
Worry has a sneaky way of keeping people stuck. That is what I’ve realized in the last year or two. It’s sneaky because it can be easy to rationalize worry as being wise, but as I’ve learned, nothing is guaranteed and at a certain point you just have to move.
I’ve worked so hard to reframe my relationship with worry and wanted to share with you ten things/options I do to break out of my worry.
1. I run. With music loud so it can drown out my thoughts.
2. I don’t judge myself for the worry. Most times it’s because I care. That gives me a bit of peace.
3. I tell my husband or a friend. Now, granted, I hear most of the time, “you are worrying….” and that is my cue to reign it in.
4. I let myself worry for a set amount of time – say ten minutes – and then that’s it for the day.
5. I breathe deeply.
6. I visualize sending my worry back into the universe. Letting it go.
7. I see the good happening.
8. I love myself and my quirks – which includes this seeing of all the variables. In this moment of self love I look for something good in the present.
9. I write. Which is this.
10. I remind myself about how worrying WILL CHANGE nothing. Unless there is action, it’s just a vortex of anxiousness.
So maybe this will help you. Maybe, if you tend to be a worry person, it might let you feel just a bit less alone. Oh yeah, and if you have a friend who tends to worry, they probably don’t need it pointed out that it doesn’t help. Just listen, love and remind them that today is good. They just need a friend. They need someone to be there in the now.
From me, to all of you.
~Rachel